Daily Simpsons

Provides a funny quote daily from the popular animated series The Simpsons.

Thursday, April 28, 2005

Homer: "If The Flintstones has taught us anything, it's that pelicans can be used to mix cement."

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Bart: "Geez Homer, you sure do suck tonight."

Homer: "Yeah, suck like a fox!"

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Homer: "Did you hear that, Marge? She called me a baboon. The stupidest, smelliest ape of them all!"

Monday, April 25, 2005

Ralph: "Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers!"

Friday, April 22, 2005

Smithers: I'm allergic to bee stings. They cause me to, uh, die.

Apu: "Homer, you are asleep at your post! Now go change the expiration dates on the dairy products!"

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Moe: "Hi, my name's Moe. Or as the ladies like to refer to me, 'hey you in the bushes'"

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Marge; "Grandpa, are you sitting on the apple pie?"

Grandpa: "I sure hope so."

Monday, April 18, 2005

Homer: "Homer no function beer well without."

Friday, April 15, 2005

Barney: "I don't know where you pixies came from, but I like your pixie drink."

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Chief Wiggum: "Uh, no, you got the wrong number. This is 91...2."

Monday, April 11, 2005

Two quotes today to make up for Friday. Both quotes submitted by Daily Simpsons reader and fan The OhReally Factor.

Homer: "Lisa, if you don't like your job, you don't strike: you just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.

[2F19] The PTA Disbands

Homer: "Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'sir' without adding, 'you're
making a scene.'"

[3F11] Scenes from the Class Struggle in Springfield

Thursday, April 07, 2005

Homer: "It takes two to lie - one to lie and one to listen."

Submitted by Anonymous.

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Milhouse: "I don't know, my Dad's a pretty big wheel down at the cracker factory."

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Marge: "Grampa, there are only forty-NINE stars on that flag!"

Grampa Simpson: "I'll be cold in my grave before I recognize Missourah!"

Submitted by TheOHReally Factor.

Monday, April 04, 2005

Apu: "By the 7 arms of Visnu, I swear it. I am not a Hindu."

Friday, April 01, 2005

Fool Me Once

Bart: "You're going down, Homer."

Homer: "You talk bigger than fool."

Bart:" I'm gonna fool you up real nice."

Homer: "You couldn't fool your mother on the foolingest day of your life if you had a electrified fooling machine."